I had no idea...

I was *that* bad at grocery shopping. Setting aside my big $254 trip, we've managed to spend an additional $70 (!!!!!) in ONE week. Yikes!!

I've nailed the problem down to three specific issues:

1. Impulse buys and trips. The Husband could make a case for going to the grocery store nearly every day. He gets a craving, and off he goes to find the ingredients for pulled pork. Plus some bread on sale. Plus some steak sounds good. Plus some mustard, because he couldn't find it the other day. Nevermind the fact I have a stockpile of condiments in our lazy Susan from all my couponing, and meat for the next three nights. Oy vey.

My problem is health food. I'm always buying fresh produce and either forgetting about it, or bypassing it in favor of something yummier/easier. I've got green beans that have been sitting in the veggie drawer for the last week because the microwave has been so much simpler.

And we're both guilty of buying "treats" for each other. Spending $25 dollars stings less if it comes home with a dark chocolate bar or Reese's Pieces.

2. Differences between my habits/preferences and The Husband's. The Husband's idea of being thrifty is buying store brand, and I'm the awful type of person who cringes at those imitation labels. (Besides -- that's what coupons are for! Evening the playing field!) This means we "accidentally" double up on a lot of foods trying to prove that one of us is smarter/thriftier than the other.

Also, our dinner ideas are sometimes polar opposite, which means we're cooking for 6 instead of 3 some nights (neither of us seems to know how to scale down a recipe properly).

3. Lack of meal planning. Which brings us to meal planning. Honestly, I think the first two issues would be solved if we worked off a master meal plan and stuck to it.

So, my goal for this weekend is to create our meal plan calendar off of some Pinterest inspiration. It's also lead me to create a new goal: Check off one Pinterest idea a week.

In the meantime, some progress I've made on the "before new baby" goals:

• Finished the Hunger Games trilogy. Technically, this would meet my 6 book quota, but I've decided to count the series as one book because it was such easy reading. Now back to the classics with "The Scarlett Letter" by Nathaniel Hawthorne.
• Created a photo book on Shutterfly.com of my favorite pics from Carter's first six months. I had only a few hours to work with because I had only just discovered a coupon for a free 20-page book that expired that night, but it's a start toward getting organized enough to do a *real* baby book.
• Helped The Husband clean out the backyard and fill holes, as well as gave him time/encouragement to paint the metal siding and awnings. Plus! I found a coupon for 30% off our paint and 15% off our supplies at Sherwin-Williams!!
• Walked everyday, although I only made it to the gym twice last week.
• Blogged three times in seven days.

Couponing

One of the goals I have is to become better about meal planning -- and as a result, better about couponing and grocery shopping in general.

With that in mind, I set out yesterday to do my major shopping trip for April, and I am going to document that trip and all subsequent trips for the month here.

For yesterday's grocery adventure I had two goals: Stock up on meat and pasta staples and use up all March coupons on double day.

Unfortunately I learned too late (halfway through my ring-up) that Farm Fresh only doubles the first 20 coupons. I'm not sure how I never noticed this before, since I am positive I use more than 20 coupons at least once a month, but thems the breaks.

The worst part was I had organized my coupons according to the store layout, and therefore a lot of $1 coupons got wasted after I met my 20 coupon limit. I would have saved another $14, too. Major bummer!

Life lesson: Know your grocery store specials inside and out! I probably will stop making one "major" trip and instead split my sales up evenly among the 4 Wednesdays in each month.

So, the summary for this trip was:
Total spent: $254.00
Total saved: $58.40 (19%)

Another goal will be to stop buying cleaning supplies, paper goods and other items that are traditionally marked up at grocery stores on my shopping trips. This time I bought toilet paper, dish detergent tabs and cat food because I wouldn't be able to make it to Wal-Mart before we ran out. (The master bath already was sporting a roll of paper towels in place of TP! Yikes.)

Because more than half of my coupons didn't double, I definitely overspent on those items and am more resolved than ever to start price comparing Wal-Mart and Amazon for those goods. Onward, coupon soldier!

Goals

Along with writing more "how to" and "review" posts for the blog, I'd like to have an on-going set of goals which are documented here. For now, I'll focus on two datelines: Before I'm 30, and Before Baby #2, and for each one I'll keep an updated list following my progress.

Before I'm 30:

1. Run at least one marathon (my fourth overall)
2. Complete an Olympic distance triathlon (my first)
3. Start a garden in the backyard and re-landscape our front yard
4. Take a writing course on social media and/or blogging
5. Try my hand at several home improvement/DIY projects
• Refinish my bedroom furniture set
• Paint and wallpaper our built-in bookcase
• Learn to sew curtains and pillows

Before Baby #2:

1. Weed, mulch, and choose some plants for around the front lampost
2. Clear the flower beds in the backyard
3. Help Jesse paint the awnings and siding
4. Trim and/or remove the front bushes
5. Create a baby book documenting Little Guy's first year
6. Blog 3x/week
7. Workout 3x/week
8. Create a meal plan calendar
9. Organize and host my first ever yard sale!
10. Read at least 6 books

• "Emma" by Jane Austen (finished Jan. 31, 2012)
• "Anna Karenina" by Leo Tolstoy (finished March 4, 2012)
• "The Beautiful and Damned" by F. Scott Fitzgerald (finished March 18, 2012)
• "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collin (currently reading)

Saving money, saving time

So part of the blog's identity crisis stems from my inability to decide what my intentions are with the blog.

It's a personal blog, for sure, but it's not intimate enough to be considered an open diary for our close family and friends, or anonymous enough to really go the distance in that regard. You know, like the blogs that get away with post after post about the hilariously awful mother-in-law or lady part issues. (As much as I might like to try that avenue...)

It's not overtly themed, either. Sure, it delves into the topic of stay-at-home-mom-ness a lot, but I don't talk about my experiences as a military wife (in fact, you might not have even realized I was one until that sentence) or do much else to distinguish myself from the hundreds of thousands of other mommy bloggers.

I do like the idea of writing more "how to" and review posts, particularly that explain my brand of yuppy/hippiness, and with that in mind, I thought I might share a few of my tricks for saving money and saving time in the Yuppy Hippy household.

1. Cut your kid's hair (and your own). 

I'll be honest. No one has ever rushed up to me in the middle of a Target shopping aisle and asked for beauty tips. In fact, the last time a stranger approached me in that manner she was a Mary Kay rep looking for makeover candidates. BUT, I don't think I'm a complete disaster, and I do manage to keep my hair looking neat and "on trend."

I don't use fancy scissors (I paid $10 for a pair at Rite Aid), and the majority of my knowledge stems from YouTube videos, so don't expect anything too dramatic if you choose to follow this path. And do expect to belly up to the salon at least once a year -- it's hard to resist the afterglow of a beauty blowout when you're craving some self-confidence. It's also really hard to do your own highlights.

The greater savings comes in cutting your kid's hair. I looked up the kid-friendly salons around Virginia Beach because Little Guy's hair grows at an alarming rate and is always in his eyes. I knew he would need something like those kid-specific airplane seats to keep him busy during the cut, but was SHOCKED to learn those facilities charge upwards of $18 a cut! So, out came the $10 Rite Aid scissors and up went the YouTube page search.

It took me three rounds, one with The Husband playing referee and "Rio" on the TV, and another two in the bathtub, before I got everything evened out, but it honestly was not that difficult and I've done the subsequent cuts at home with just one trim.

If you're looking for a good video that explains the proper "angles" and techniques you'll want to follow, click here. You can also try practicing on your spouse first, but be forewarned even they can't mimic the squirminess of a little boy determined to watch the haircut happening at the top of his head.

2. Keep a laundry basket in the main room of your house.

In our home, this is the living room.

I stumbled upon the efficiency of this placement after returning home from Christmas "vacation" (the quotation marks are very much needed in our case), when I moved three laundry baskets into the living room while I took a solid week to unpack. One became a semi-permanent fixture, and after a month or so I realized I was getting the laundry done at a way more practical rate for our family of three.

Why? Well, having the laundry basket front and center forces you to realize how much has piled up. It also consolidates all of the family laundry, instead of allowing small piles for each family member to mount until they reach washing load proportions. (Previously, I had a laundry basket in my master bedroom closet, in Little Guy's room, in our bathroom, and in the guest bedroom where The Husband keeps his closet. That's four baskets that are allowed to fill up at a rather slow rate since only one person is contributing to the pile.)

Now I do one load of laundry a day, and no one goes without clean underwear because their pile is smaller than the other. Also, the majority of Little Guy's outfit changes happen in the living room, and it means I have ten steps less to take to reach the laundry basket in his room. And I get to practice my jump shot from the couch. Sweet.

A few weeks ago, I purchased a slightly more decorative hamper in order to have more aesthetic appeal in the living room, but honestly, it's not that hard to move it to another room when company comes a'knockin.

3. Get rid of cable. Become a Hulu addict. 


We finally got rid of cable when we moved to Virginia because I came to set up home a few weeks before our furniture arrived from California and the cable man said I couldn't hook up the TV without, well, a TV. I tore up the contract there, and also ditched the landline telephone.

For $40 a month, we have our Internet connection and a laptop that is hooked up to our 50-inch plasma screen. We don't pay for a Hulu subscription -- yet -- since we don't watch enough TV to justify the $7.99/month they charge, but the more movies they add, the more I consider it.

The shows we watch on Hulu: Modern Family, Happy Endings, The Office, Parks & Rec, 30 Rock, and I watch some embarrassing prime time soaps that I won't get into here. We buy series run of other shows, like Dexter and Mad Men, and it's been a great way to save $80/month.

4. Use coupons.

Okay, there are way too many awesome coupon blogs out there for me to have anything to add to the conversation other than this: Do not be intimidated! And what I mean by that is, don't be discouraged if you can't get items for free or if you don't leave the local Food Lion with 23 deoderant sticks for $1.33.

Start small, and if you're like me, you can just remain a small-time couponer and be satisfied with that effort. Subscribe to your local Sunday paper for coupons. If you're so inclined, do some web-based research and print coupons online for brands/products you particularly like. I don't go too crazy with this, but on the weeks I do remember it definitely saves some money.

We don't buy enough processed foods to really make a huge impact -- and I don't want to buy more to do so -- but I save about $30 a week on the few items that we do purchase (like spaghetti sauce, condiments, soups, eggs, some cereals and beauty/health supplies).

I only shop on "double coupon" days at my local grocery store, and I avoid any coupons that aren't for items I wouldn't regularly buy. I also bring reusable bags to the grocery store (savings: 5 cents per bag) and use my military ID to get an additional 10 percent off store-brand items. (Check with your grocer to see if they have similar programs for AAA, military families, local booster clubs, etc.) Our store (we shop at Farm Fresh) doesn't use a rewards card, but instead offers a receipt for savings on their store-sold gas, which we save and use once a month.

My goal is to become better about shopping around store sales. Right now, we just pay attention to the signage around the store, but I do think I could do better meal planning if I would just spend some time looking at their flyer on Wednesdays.

5. Find less expensive alternatives for your gym and kid activities.

It honestly bothers me that Gymboree charges $50 a month for their "classes." I'm not knocking their services, because I know several mothers who swear by their Gymboree time, but that is such an ugly number for a family on a budget.

Instead, look to your city's recreational programs and libraries. I'll admit it was a pain getting Little Guy signed up for our local library's story time (there are only 12 spaces, and I got the final one after calling and getting a busy signal for THREE hours on the day registration opened), but it's free and just as good as a Gymboree activity. In many smaller cities, there isn't even a registration requirement.

We're lucky that Virginia Beach has a fantastic parks department. Once a week we take Little Guy to Mount Trashmore where he can explore a HUGE playground and as much mulch as he can fit into his mouth. The other days we walk to our local playground (it's less than a mile stroll) and let Diesel run around the field as we swing. We also hit up the bike/running paths every once in a while for a change of scenery.

Virginia Beach also has the best recreational department that I've experienced. For $79 a YEAR, I get full access to six recreational centers, each one with a pool and gym equipment that is as good as any YMCA. We spent another $32 to sign Little Guy up for swim lessons, and for a similar fee I can take a number of aerobics or strength training classes. The only thing lacking is child care while I work out.

Lady Luck

I'm hostessing a "Cards & Cocktails" bridal shower for one of my bestest friends next month, and last night I finished my work on the invites. The wedding theme is based on the happy couple's love of casinos and poker, so I thought I would play into that theme (and my friend's obsession with lottery tickets) by creating a scratch-off invite.

This project could be a fun way to do save-the-dates, Valentine's cards, or even Christmas gift tags.

Supplies:

• Cardstock paper
• Dish soap
• Acrylic paint in the metallic color of your choice (I chose the traditional silver)
• Paint brush
• Tape or contact paper (most websites I found suggested contact paper, but I found that clear Scotch tape worked perfectly)

Step 1: Design your invite/card/tag and print on card stock. (I used www.picnik.com. Surprise, surprise.) Don't forget you'll need something to "reveal." I chose to have 2 invites with an engagement ring graphic, while the rest of the bunch had a picture of a woman waiting with legs crossed by the telephone.

Step 2: Mix 2 parts paint with 1 part dish soap. I used a half tablespoon of dish soap and a full tablespoon of paint to make small markings on 40 invites.

Step 3. Apply the clear tape or contact paper over the design/words that you will be covering. Using your paintbrush, apply the scratch-off paint. I suggest doing at least two coats of paint, so don't worry if your text/image is not completely hidden the first time around. Also, while watching the paint dry you might be worried that some areas are more covered than others -- don't stress yet! You will be able to smooth everything over with a second or third coat of paint.

Step 4: After allowing the area to thoroughly dry, test one project using a coin. Wa la! Instant scratch-off fun.

Little gems The Husband dropped this week

Today is the third anniversary of our church wedding. I could waste some time/space by waxing poetic about all the ways The Husband continues to charm, amaze, and surprise me every day, but happy marriages like ours make for some fairly boring/borderline nauseating reading material.

Instead, how about I gift you with these gems I collected from The Husband this week. It helps if you know his personality is rather typical "male." He is the tall and very silent type. He has an engineering-type mind that showcases itself in the "actions speak louder than words" department.

Reading through them, they're not exactly laugh out loud material, but they did make me smile. Perhaps all you're looking for is a little smile?

Setting: Pulling into our driveway, The Husband tells me he will drop off Little Guy and me and scurry over to the store for a few essentials.
Him: Do you need anything?
Moi: Uhh...nope. No, wait... Coffee creamer.
Him: Ok.
(Rolling down the window as I walk towards the house with Little Guy)
Him: WAIT!!!! Don't we have a coupon on the refrigerator for that?

Setting: The Husband is giving Little Guy a bath while his own mother -- who was visiting from NY -- watches.
Mother-in-Law: Do you do bubble baths a lot?
Him: Well, we try not to do them too often because this soap is kind of expensive.

(Obviously I am a little obsessed with observing The Husband in money-saving mode.)

Setting: The Husband has wrangled Little Guy on the couch for a diaper changing session. He is trying to manage the wildly flailing limbs in one hand while settling the diaper underneath his butt with the other.
Him: Hold on! Hold on, little man! I'm not familiar with this diaper. We got a new diaper on the scene. Hold on!

(For the record, it was a BumGenius AIO.)

Setting: The Husband and I are watching How I Met Your Mother, in a scene where Barney is dancing in the background, pointing to his ring finger like a crazy man.
Him: I think he's listening to "If You Want It, You Put a Ring On It."

Yes, darling. You most certainly do.

10 parenting decisions you might say "define me"

So, the blog is going through a sort of identity crisis, and I've decided to re-route this post from a "Page" to a regular post. I'll write more at-length about all the changes to the blog once I've figured them out and made some solid decisions, but for now let's just get on with all these numbered points to inspire cheering, judging, eye-rolling, camaraderie, and a host of other reactions...


For the most part, I bend toward the crunchy granola hippy style of attachment parenting. For instance:

 1.) I am passionate about breastfeeding and exclusively* breastfed Little Guy from birth to 9 months. Like most of my parenting decisions, this one is rooted in instinct (what feels "natural" to me) and by our budget. (Not only do you save tons of money by skipping the formula aisle at the grocery store, but we own less than six bottles that I hardly ever need to wash.) For me, breastfeeding is also more convenient: You don't have to pack your boobs when you're out and about. I am comfortable breastfeeding in public -- I use a cover and/or clever clothing arrangements to keep the goods under wraps -- and I have done it often (in fact, I think those benches they put in the middle of shopping malls are the perfect place to showcase Little Guy's love for the boob).

Probably the one aspect of breastfeeding that I'm not too impressed with is the bonding that is bragged about by so-called lactivists. I think you can bond perfectly naturally by choosing to have skin-to-skin contact with your newborn or making eye contact during a bottle-feeding. We don't need to club new mothers over the head for not stuffing their nipple down the baby's throat in order to show their all encompassing love.

* Little Guy was introduced to formula after his fifth month when I hadn't pumped enough for my first night away. Once I realized he was able to accept a mix of formula/breastmilk and then a full formula bottle, I chose to have caretakers offer Little Guy formula whenever I was gone (which was the equivalent of about 8 bottles over a 3-month period). Pumping did not go well for me. I could never get more than an ounce or two in a thirty minute session.

Once the morning sickness kicked into high gear, I switched entirely to formula. I wasn't drinking or eating enough thanks to the nausea, and my energy was at an all-time low. There were some amazing bonding moments for Little Guy and The Husband over the three months that he was formula fed, and I have to admit, I was glad they both had that opportunity. But the goal remains to exclusively breastfeed the next baby until he/she decides to wean. Formula is EXPENSIVE, yo!

2.) I use cloth diapers. This is one of those parenting decisions that first attracted me because it was a way to stand out from the crowd -- and I try to stand out whenever I can. After the initial research, I realized just how well cloth diapers would fit with my mode of parenting: They were extremely cost-effective, really cute, friendly to the environment, and gave me a chance to brag whenever possible. In the beginning, we stocked up on all the different types of cloth diapers (pre-folds, fitteds, pockets and all-in-ones) and the ones that worked best for our family were the pocket diapers.

My favorite pocket diaper is a (Made in the U.S.A.!!!) BumGenius 4.0 one-size. We own about 20 of those, and also have a few Fuzzibunz, Happy Heinys, and RumpaRooz (all one-size, pocket diapers). The only brand I haven't had great success with was the Itti Bitti  one-size, which uses a snap-in insert instead of a pocket and didn't quite fit Little Guy's thighs correctly. At night, Little Guy goes 12 hours in a single diaper: The BumGenius 4.0 stuffed with a Joey Bunz hemp doubler and a single layer BumGenius microfiber insert.

3.) I strongly believe in the benefits of babywearing and use a Moby or Ergo whenever possible. I registered for a Moby based on the enthusiastic recommendations I found on sites like TheBump.com, but to be honest, I wasn't really sure how it would factor into our daily routine. Thank God I drank the Kool-Aid, though, because I seriously can't imagine how our first few months would have turned out without it. I am not exaggerating when I say: THE MOBY SAVED MY LIFE. When Little Guy was going through his most colicky period, there were only two strategies that could possibly calm him. You could sit him in front of running water, like the bathtub faucet, or you could put him in the Moby and walk around. His attention span favored the Moby, because he could eventually fall asleep. Because of the Moby, I realized how convenient it was to wear the baby instead of trying to strap him into a stroller or carry him around a store.

By the time his colic had ended, we started babywearing so that we could leave the stroller at home on trips to Home Depot and Target. It also made air travel extremely convenient -- I could breastfeed him while walking around the airport and walk through security without having to fold up a stroller and carry a baby. And let's not forget chores: Practically the only way I vacuum, dust, and clean the kitchen these days is if I have a baby strapped to my back.

4.) I used the "Baby Led Weaning" approach to solid foods. This is another decision that has its roots in both instinct and budget. The baby is allowed to self-feed non-pureed foods from the 6-month mark and on. You obviously start with foods that are easiest for the baby to mash with his gums, but you can quickly progress to almost any food served at the breakfast/lunch/dinner table.

What attracted me to BLW? For one, I don't have to do any additional shopping for the baby, and for two, he is able to work on his fine motor skills and to choose what foods interest him and how much food he is interested in eating at a single sitting. I absolutely love watching him eat, and it's so convenient to be able to share the meal experience without having to be serving him spoonful by spoonful in between my own bites.

His first foods were: Banana, cantelope, sweet potato fries, watermelon, Greek yogurt, and butternut squash. I did not follow the "three day" rule of introducing foods one at a time over a period of three days because there are no known food allergies in our families and I didn't think there was any risk in the foods he was being served. Just before 8 months, Carter started meats: Chicken, meatball, pork, and sausage. Today (at just over 12 months) he eats anything we eat, including steak, and is able to use a fork and spoon relatively well (for his age).

5.) I researched, prepared for and had a successful natural (med-free) delivery. After your first marathon, you'll try to make almost any occasion into a medal-worthy experience. Initially, that's what motivated me to try for a natural birth. I wanted me some bragging rights. I started to research different methods for natural birth, though, and discovered Ricki Lake's documentary, "The Business of Being Born," around the same time that I also read "Hypnobirthing." And even though both resources struck me as a bit one-sided and even exaggerated on the truth a bit, a larger part of them struck home for me. American birth has become a runaway train of unnecessary medical intervention. From pointless inductions and epidural drug pushing, to painful (and scary powerful) contractions that are the result of pitocin drips and the subsequent c-section "recommendation." While there is no evidence to prove that an epidural can slow contractions, my instincts (and a lot of midwives) would agree that the best, safest, and perhaps easiest delivery would be one without any unnecessary medical interventions. Epidurals are unnecessary for the vast majority of women. But if you're given the option of having a painful labor or a numb one, which would you choose? Yes, my labor was painful, but with the right research I was able to identify some pain management strategies that worked for me and deliver Little Guy without any drugs -- in two pushes, after only 11 hours of active "labor." I don't think that was beginner's luck; I think it was the result of a lot of preparation and hard work, and I think you might surprise yourself if you're willing to give it a go.

It's not all meditation circles and daisy flowers up in here, though. These are a few parenting decisions which seem to be more conventional, traditional or mainstream:

1.) Co-sleeping didn't work best for us, but we definitely gave it a try. I hadn't planned on co-sleeping (we owned a crib, a bassinet, and a bouncer...surely one of those would do the trick), and therefore hadn't done much research on it by the time I realized that Little Guy "slept" best when he was next to us. For the first three months, the longest period of time Little Guy ever slept was two hours, so co-sleeping wasn't necessarily a lot of sleeping for any of us. And although I never worried I would roll over Little Guy, I did worry about the dangers posed by our pillow-top mattress and sheet set. I also worried about Little Guy's dependence on the boob for sleeping, and my own sleep really suffered having him next to me because I was constantly re-positioning him on the boob or trying to get comfortable laying on my side. So, back to the bassinet he went. We did co-sleep a few more times while we were traveling in the early months, because it was one of the easiest ways to comfort him in a new place, but I vowed after the six-month mark to break us both of this habit, and I think we both sleep the better for it. 

2.) We have used the "Cry It Out" technique. We first tried a modified version of "Cry It Out" when Little Guy was 4.5 months old, after our pediatrician suggested it. Little Guy had been waking every two hours (sometimes one, *forehead slap*) since we brought him home from the hospital, with a brief two-week-period of four-hour sleep around the 3.5 month mark. The first night was stressful, and it seemed no one in the house had any sleep. But the next night? The next night Little Guy slept five hours straight! Talk about success! I nursed him after the first five hours (he was still getting used to not eating at night), and he went for another three, whined himself back to sleep, and woke up refreshed at 6 a.m. This continued for the rest of the week....until I packed him up and drove him to NY. We left our only chance of ever sleeping again back home in Virginia, because for the next three months, Little Guy would wake every two hours, almost like clockwork. I didn't think I could bear to let him CIO it again, and I had three weddings scheduled (which meant three trips to NY), so I felt that even if we were successful, the progress would be interrupted by my damn travel plans. So, Little Guy was nursed frequently at night, even while I read three different books ("The No Cry Sleep Solution," "Happiest Baby on the Block," and ") in an attempt to break him of that habit. Unfortunately, despite all the great advice, the only way Little Guy went to sleep without a big fight was to nurse him -- until we tried CIO again at the 7.5 month mark. It was a rough week, but it was a bit easier knowing that this time around he didn't *need* to be nursed at all. After five nights, he was able to sleep for 5-6 hours, until eventually (about two weeks after we started CIO), he was able to sleep for 8 hours, nurse, and then sleep another 3-4. I don't entirely buy into the idea that babies need to sleep for much more beyond six hours at a time, but I can tell you the extra sleep does feel pretty good to Mama...

3.) Little Guy is vaccinated...and on the AAP recommended schedule. I couldn't find any good research to support the delayed vaccination schedule that Dr. Sears seems so fond of (even his reasoning is all based on personal opinion with little to no medical evidence), and I strongly believe the herd is only as strong as its weakest members. I continue to follow the discussion, though, as my instincts say some of the vaccinations (like the one for chicken pox) seem like overkill and perhaps might be the product of big business getting a hold of government pockets.

4.) Little Guy eats meat, processed and inorganic foods. Because I eat meat, processed and inorganic foods....and I can't seem to stop.

5.) Little Guy is circumcised. Like many women, I handed off the responsibility for this decision to my husband. The assumption I made was that I didn't have the right "equipment" (and thereby, the experiences and knowledge) to make a choice for my son. Looking back, I wish I had urged my husband to do some research before I threw the question at him. Little Guy didn't suffer any complications and I do like the idea that father and son will "match," so to speak, but I also think it was a decision my husband made lightly based only on the fact that he was circumcised. And I am complicit in that because I gave him that option based only on the fact that he had the right "equipment." So...yeah. I don't regret his circumcision, but I do wish I had a better answer as to why he is circumcised than, "Because his father is."

The Birthday Party

The day before Little Guy's actual birthday we had a party at my parent's house. Just an easy peasy get together for about 15 adults and 7 kids. The Husband chose the theme (Jeep) and we went pretty light on decorations. I think the total cost was probably about $50, including the cost of the toy car favors.

The invite was made on Picknik.com and layered on Splashup.com. I printed it in a 5x7 version at home using card stock paper.

I created the pennant banner by uploading a picture of a checkered flag onto the Paint program and adding the filled-in white circle with a blue outline. It was then uploaded onto Picnik.com, where I used their software to add the letters. I printed on card stock paper, cut the flags out, punched a hole at the top, and used blue ribbon to string it together.

We purchased one of those corny high chair decorating kits for $3 from PartyCity.com. Also, a few treat bags and party noisemakers for the littler guests. I filled the treat bags with crayons, candy, and a thank you note/coloring page that went with our Jeep theme.

We decorated with white and blue balloons, threw down a white plastic tablecloth, and had paper goods in a checkered flag theme.

My mom made cupcakes with "dirt" frosting, and also dirt cake cups (which are not pictured). We added checkered flags, ordered from PartyCity.com, and a mix of Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars (about $5 for a package of 5)  that I found in off-road theme groups.

Pointing at fire.

Posing with no fire.

Cake SMASH and the baby bump.

Opening presents with cousins.

Cloth diapering: One year later

As of 7:11 a.m. this morning, marking the moment when I last changed a poopy disposable diaper in 2011, we are celebrating the one year anniversary of exclusively cloth diapering Little Guy. This means my grand total of disposable diaper expenses for Little Guy's first year was $29.99 plus tax, which is what The Husband spent on a box of Pamper Swaddler diapers during a midnight Target run that first week because I was too afraid to use our cloth diapers while we were still applying extraordinary amounts of Vaseline on the, uh, male appendage that had been snipped.

Our cloth diaper expenses are a bit harder to total. We were lucky enough to receive several gifts of cloth diapers and gift certificates at my baby shower, and I was also able to use "points" collected from subsequent purchases to order cloth diapers for free at kellyscloset.com. For the sake of simplicity, I am going to tally the expenses of our current stash in order to give parents an idea of how much it would cost to start cloth diapering in the Yuppy-Hippy family style (that is to say, doing laundry every 2-3 days and using one-size pocket/all-in-one cloth diapers that grow with the child).

We have 21 Bum Genius pocket/AIO 4.0one-size diapers. This is my absolute favorite diaper. If you buy in bulk, the cost is about $17 per diaper (for purchases of 12+), or $18 for individual purchases. If you were just starting out, 21 diapers would easily be a complete stash, allowing you to do laundry every other day, and bringing your grand diapering total to about $350. 

Of course, many cloth diapering mamas find it impossible to resist some of the more adorable prints out there, like this Rumparooz Robotronic print one-size pocket diaper, and in the beginning most families choose to experiment with several brands and types of cloth diapers before settling on the perfect fit for their baby and lifestyle. This was the case with us, which is why I also own around $200 worth of diapers in the following brands:

• 4 Fuzzibunz one-size pocket diapers, at a cost of around $19 per diaper. These have a very different profile as compared to the BumGenius, and can give a superior fit to the baby due to three points of customization. However, I hate having to undo and redo the silly interior buttons in order to change the fit, and so these got put to the bottom of the stash. 
• 2 Rumparooz one-size pocket diapers, at a cost of $23.50 each. I purchased these diapers solely for the Robotronic and Lil' Monster prints. The fit is very similar to the BumGenius diaper, although perhaps a bit bulkier in the smaller settings. I prefer the interior stay-dry material that BG uses, although the Rumparooz diapers have internal gussets that are better at stopping leaks. 
• 2 Itti Bitti one-size diapers, my biggest splurge. I used points to purchase these diapers for free, otherwise they come in at a cost of about $27 per diaper. Honestly, they were my biggest disappointment. I never got the fit right on Little Guy, and I didn't like how the interior snapped in instead of using a pocket placement. They are super trim, though, and I am pretty excited to see how the fit will work on a newborn. Little Guy was already 5 months old when these arrived in the mail, and I think they have the ability to be the smallest diaper in my one-size stash.
• 1 Happy Heinys one-size pocket diaper with hook and loop closure. This was the first diaper I bought that used hook and loop (Velcro) as opposed to snaps. I spent $19 on the glow-in-the-dark skull print, and the diaper is overall pretty similar to a BumGenius, although I think the quality is a bit lacking. I would be open to purchasing more hook/loop diapers in the future, although they are a pain in the wash because they stick to anything and everything.

Speaking of wash...perhaps you're wondering about the maintenance aspects of cloth diapering for a year. For the record, this is what my diapers look like today, after being used for a year:

That's right: They look brand new. I won't lie, I did go through several months of experimenting with wash and dry cycles, and they've also given me some headaches when working with other washers/dryers on the road (we have cloth diapered through at least 6 road trips), but it is honestly just an extra load of wash every other day.

We have a top-loader HE washer, and I wash by putting in one tablespoon of Rockin' Green detergent (a cloth diaper specific detergent that sells for around $15) for a cold wash on the gentle cycle, and follow with a hot wash gentle cycle, double rinse. I get about 60 loads out of a single bag of this detergent.

I dry in the sun as much as possible, and otherwise do a double cycle in our dryer on the higher heat setting. (Some of this is against what BumGenius advises, and so I would encourage you to do some research with your manufacturers as you can void the warranty by going against their recommendations.) My diapers look immaculate and if I was interested in re-selling (which is another selling point for cloth diapers), I would likely get top dollar.

In finding the best type of diaper for our lifestyle we also tried some pre-folds and fitted diapers (we spent less than $80 here, and I donated much of our pre-folds/covers to a family in diaper need). You can read more about those options here, but in the end, the pocket diapers were just as affordable and much easier to use, care for, and explain to family/friends/babysitters. 

Last week, we survived our greatest challenge in cloth diapering: Treating a nasty yeast-based diaper rash while remaining in cloth. We did this through lots of nekkid time, using the diapers I liked least while having to use the zinc/nystatin cream, and using bleach in our wash cycle (which was turned up to above 125 degrees F to kill the yeast). My diapers and, most importantly, my son came out of this in three days with nary a mark or complication. 

Other than this yeast rash, Little Guy has had very few diaper-related problems. We've never had a poop explosion, although we have battled leaks throughout the year. Mostly these are related to fit, as working with a one-size cloth diaper you sometimes deal with entire weeks where you can't get the perfect fit because the baby is going through a growth spurt. Also, on the road we have dealt with detergent or wash-cycle related build-up that has contributed to leaks, but was easily solved. I can't boast that we've never dealt with a diaper rash; we've had several, although until the yeast rash, I had never had a rash that hadn't cleared up in 48 hours and I've never worried that it was related to the diaper -- only that we had missed changing a poopy diaper within that important 15-minute window because we have a ninja pooper (he gets that from his father, definitely not me). 

And now, with that image of  The Husband, the ninja pooper, and all those dollar signs and calculations, I leave you for the day. Questions? Leave 'em in the comments! 

The last four and a half months

My last post was October 27, 2011. More than four months ago. I would feel guilty about that, but a lot of things happened on October 28th. Well, actually only two things happened, but those two things were like tiny cartoon snowballs that were allowed to roll down a big, snowy cartoon hill and grow bigger and bigger until they eventually enclosed tiny cartoon versions of  The Husband and me so that all was visible were our limbs, flailing about as the snow balls continued to roll down hill.

On October 28th, The Husband found out his position at work (his dream job) was in jeopardy. He also found out his wife was pregnant. SURPRISE!

And so, I decided to take a break from blogging. For one, we really weren't sure how things would shake out for The Husband. We still aren't sure. At this point, if he was to come home and tell me he had been assigned a position as a rodeo clown on a Naval ship circulating the waters of the Arctic, I wouldn't be surprised.

And then there were the trials and tribulations of the first trimester. The morning sickness, oh the morning sickness. I was familiar with the nausea from my last pregnancy, but in those first few months I found relief when I laid worship at the porcelain bowl. This time around, there was no relief. No heaving or upchucking or even gagging. It was just all-day constant nausea, accompanied by extreme lethargy. Honestly, if it hadn't been for Little Guy, it might not have been so bad. I could have laid on the couch and caught up on some TV. But, alas, there was Little Guy with all his little needs. And so, as any good stay-at-home-mom would, I bucked up, squared my shoulders...and nagged my husband until he agreed to take a few weeks off work.

Actually, I didn't have to nag him. He came home one day to find Little Guy (fed and dressed and wearing a clean diaper, I will add in my defense) crawling atop a massive pile of cloth diapers that still needed to be stuffed and put away. From two days before. It had been the only item on my "To Do" list for the last day and a half, which means The Husband had been tackling the dishes, the other piles of laundry, the sweeping and vacuuming and swiffering and all those other household chores that are required day after day. And believe me, I take that "To Do" list very seriously. It usually works through three or four drafts before the handwriting is good enough to be tacked onto the refrigerator, and then it is crossed-out in color-coded fashion and sometimes, it's so good I save it in my journal. I wish I was making that up.

And so, The Husband, wonderful man that he is, decided to take advantage of his depressing situation at work and take a few weeks off to help me through the worst of the first trimester. That brought us into a two-week "vacation" to New York for Christmas, and onto January where I spent the first few weeks recovering our household from that "vacation" and the next two after that trying to get caught up on all the small house projects I had put off during The Great First Trimester Couch Session of 2011.

Just as I was about ready to put fingers to keyboard and recommit myself to my blogging habit, the Yuppy-Hippy clan was dealt a pretty awful blow. On Thursday, February 16, Dodge bit Little Guy. Words aren't enough to describe the complex layers of guilt and shame and utter regret we are still obviously dealing with and will continue to deal with for many years to come.

The summarized version of events was that the bite happened, and we decided our responsibility was to report it to the city and surrender Dodge. This was after exhausting a few avenues of trying to get Dodge to a foster situation or a rescue group, and learning that in most cases, these groups are powerless to help an animal that has a bite history. This makes some obvious sense, although of course we hoped that our dog was the exception and that we could get him to some sort of help before resorting to a surrender. We did not feel like we could take Dodge back into our home after his 10-day quarantine (routine for any animal involved in a bite/attack), and unfortunately the groups we talked to did not have any foster homes available to him at that time either.

The outcome for Little Guy was much more hopeful. I called a nurse triage line, and was walked through the basic steps for evaluating his scratches and bruises, and determined he did not have to be seen at an ER. Even better than all that, he did not show any fear of either of the dogs when we allowed them to interact with him much later that day. Probably one of the saddest moments of my life as a parent (to both Little Guy and Dodge) was watching Dodge apologetically approach Little Guy and lick his face where the wound was, and then seeing Little Guy react with a grin. That was their final moment together, and ours together as a family, and it absolutely broke my heart.

Looking back, there was so much more we could have done for Dodge, and it will continue to eat away at me for many, many years. I will say this, at the time, we thought we were doing all the right things. We had contacted our rescue group and sought out a re-homing situation. We had welcomed an animal behavioralist to the home and worked on the tactics she suggested. We had reached out to friends and family and were honest about our situation, and in a very sad twist to this story, we were preparing Dodge for his first trial weekend with a cousin of mine the very next week.

Still, we should have pushed harder and given more resources to rehabilitating Dodge. I still am adamant that he was not an aggressive dog, but an anxious one that reacted to stress in the only way he knew how. The bite incident did not involve food or possessions, but most likely was due to excessive eye contact on Carter's part, and if I had been more cautious and observant, would never have happened.

I'm including a few pictures, even though they are obviously the most shameful part of my experiences as a mother up to this point, so that maybe someone in a similar situation might know that other parents have been through this unique type of tragedy, have had to make hard decisions relating to their four-legged family members, and have come out a little wiser in the end.

And for those parents who have an anxious (or aggressive) animal and are wondering how best to approach the situation: Please, please, please...do more than you think is necessary, and if you feel like your best option is to re-home your companion, DO NOT HESITATE. There is so much guilt and shame and embarrassment when considering this option, but if I had not been so afraid of how others might judge me (or how I might judge myself), I could have saved myself so much heartache in the end.